It's very sad, but I'm going to have to move house now.

Because I can't get back in my front door.

Online Dating

Future Blog posts:

"Transferable skill sets, or: How teaching prepares you for going on three dates in one day."

"You said you were 39, but you look like my dad. No really."

"Self-obsessed woman-hater seeks sugar mama."

"What not to write in your first message."

"7 reasons you shouldn't be surprised that no one writes back."

"Sometimes 'Let's pay separately' means 'I like feeling independent', sometimes it means 'That was excruciating'. Here is 1 simple clue to help you guess which."

Meh

It has nearly been 24 hours since I last slept. I woke this morning at some hour ungodly with a raging sore throat. I have been tetchy and stuffy all day, got some cold stuff from the pharmacy that is different from the cold stuff I usually take (which knocks me right out), got crazy tired at around half five, took one of these bloody sudafed things, woke the hell up and have have been bouncing off the walls ever since (as far as you can, with a head full of cold).

Here is some yarn. I was thinking clapotis.















I am going to try milk and honey.

I am really worried about how I am going to get all the marking done, plus the planning for next week when Unit Four starts for the year 12s. Hell.

Heart broken

I got this cup from Target the summer before I started boarding school. (It was on the list with the regulation school underwear [enormous bloomers] which I also got. I think I was the only one.) It disappeared for several years until I found it at the bottom of a bin of molasses.















It has followed me through school, and uni, and falling in and out of love, and moving house fifteen times.

Then tonight I was tired and not paying attention and I grabbed the chopping board off the drying rack and shattered the cup across the floor.

I know I shouldn't get so attached to things.

Crochet

Stupid holidays

So teaching is supposed to be all great because of the holidays, but I don't seem to be enjoying them at all. I like my work. I wish we had the 'regular' amount of holidays and the workload was a little less ball-busting.

I have been all tetchy today. I was supposed to go to Vancouver at the end of the year and work in the snowshoeing program and get married. But then the snowshoeing fell through and now I am wondering whether to just go anyway. Is it wrong to travel so far just because you are kind of interested in some guy? Maybe I should go to Bulgaria and look after sheep and ponies. Or maybe I should go wwoofing. Or maybe stay the hell at home and save up money to renovate the bathroom. I feel both set adrift and overwhelmed by choice. And tetchy.

But actually, I would rather be worrying about these inanities. This time last week my cousin died. I have just been looking at his MySpace page. I don't like how the internet holds echoes of the dead like that. How can someone have commented on his mum's facebook 10 days ago and be dead now?

It is dumb to be crying. I haven't even seen him for years.

I think I might go bake something.

Wanting -

I want this cardigan.










When I started reading the books (at the time I was living and working in a boarding school in an old castle in the middle of the countryside in England and the third book was just about to come out. The girls lent me their copies, but would only let me take them overnight... I went a couple of nights with no sleep to get them read) I loved them. I particularly loved the three main characters. I particularly loved the bossy, over-bearing little know-it-all for whom I felt a certain sister-of-the-heart affection.

I read them curled up in my little half-room, tucked away under the roof, looking out over the orchard. The bed was old and creaked and I had to share toilet and showers with the oldest girls (they were about 14, the youngest were 6 or 7). They had a 'rota' in the mornings and evenings and I fit in around them.

A lot of the time I was there I felt like I was just having a bad dream and when I woke up I'd be back in Australia. This was exacerbated by most nights' vivid dreams of being in Australia and panicking about how I would get back to the school in time for duty the next morning. The dreams felt more real than the living. It was a learning experience and a little bit of escapism felt like a very good thing.

Litany of Woe -

Today has been one of those rather astonishing days that ends in a headache.

So here is my tale of woe. It sort of starts last night when I had one of those life changing conversations with someone. It was perfect, uplifting, thrilling. I left feeling high as a kite. As high as a very high kite. The high continued through Pilates and on through the night. At 10.44 I crashed and retired to bed with my step-sister's new book.

I woke before the alarm and got up to practice the presentation I was giving today. We were each given seven minutes, but I was only getting it under seven half the time. blah blah blah, then I went to leave the house with enough time to walk to the venue. One of the cats exploded, I cleaned it up and realised I only had enough time to get there if I caught the tram. Got to the tram stop and couldn't find my wallet. Fine, I had just enough time to get home for it... except I couldn't find it. I looked through house and car and figured I had dropped it at the supermarket the night before. Rang to put a block on my cards. Phone ran out of battery. Had just enough coins to buy a two hour tram ticket.

I arrived late, but in time to give my talk... except that they had started early.

I walked home - it took a little longer than I expected. By the time I got back, a blister on my foot had started bleeding. I looked again for the wallet, nothing, not in the car, not in my room, not anywhere. I was running late for Pilates, but decided to make a dash for it. Got in the car. Saw my wallet sitting under the windscreen wiper. I must have dropped it coming in last night and one of my neighbours picked it up (suddenly glad I know the neighbours).

Immediately called the bank to get the block taken off my card. They wouldn't. I tried to explain that I had 20c to my name and couldn't wait 7 days for a new card. They said the risk was too great. I was put on hold while the nice man spoke to a senior manager.

I drove to Pilates while I was on hold. Although I complained explained again that I only had 20c cash to my name, my card was cancelled.

Left Pilates and drove through peak-hour traffic to get to the Brighton Cinema where my kids were given an award for the short film they made. I was half an hour late, but didn't miss their film. Their film with me in it. There is something pretty cool about seeing yourself on the big screen. And they thanked me in their acceptance speech for giving up my lunchtimes and frees.

From there I drove to the city to catch up with a friend for his birthday. I flaked pretty soon on account of being tired and hungry.

The low fuel light came on halfway home. I wondered how much fuel you could buy with twenty cents.

But it's okay, I have beer and eggs in the fridge; plenty of flour and porridge in the cupboard; and a two month supply of bonsoy behind the kitchen door. I am going to catch up with some friends on Sunday for Harry Potter, they are practically family, I am sure I can hit them up for cash.

Green -

I have a favourite biscuit recipe - I made it up myself, it is an M&Ms and Baileys recipe. When I grabbed the most recent packet of M&Ms at the shops, I wasn't paying attention. The M&Ms were all the same colour. It Irished up the biscuits.














I am so nearly there with the hap blanket, only you can't see because it looks like a large, blobby sea creature, not a blanket.














And I found a clothes moth - chemical warfare has ensued.














M&Ms and Bailey's biscuits, by me

125 g butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
glug of Baileys
2 eggs
1 tsp bicarb soda
2 cups plain flour*
1/2 cup ground almonds
1 250g packet M&Ms**

oven 180° C
baking paper
2 x oven trays

cream butter and sugar.
mix in Baileys.
add eggs, one by one.
mix in the rest by hand.

Bake 12-15 minutes (until they have browned a little) (in my oven [poor lame duck that it is] they can take nearly half an hour).

*if you accidentally use self-raising flour it makes them huge and chewy - not necessarily a bad thing (I accidentally make them with self-raising flour every time now)
**you might be tempted to go more, I often am, but it ends with bad clumping of M&Ms.

Roiled -

This is how I feel at the minute:














There has been a dearth of craft and a metric butt-tonne of things to do. I feel like I am riding the wave with the fear/thrill of catching a face full of sand lurking.

I did 'finish' a project.














Lovely yarn, but cursed, this is the third time it's not worked out in a project. Maybe I will save it for the kitties.